I have entered a new decade... and it's kinda scary. It's only seems like a few days ago I was graduating sixth form, and now I am 20... 20!!!! I have lived for 20 years! That is a great achievement that I thought would never come by so fast. But, since my 20th birthday was closing in on me a few weeks ago, I decided to give my best advice that I myself had to learn during my teen years.
1. Do things your pace. There will always be people who are faster than you, and those who are slower. Just do whatever you have to do at your own pace; even if it's takes you a few hours/days/months/years more to perfect it. Rushing through anything will just lower the quality of whatever it is you are trying to succeed in. And I only accepted this advice last year as I suddenly had to walk through life at my own pace, and not running with the rest of the crowd.
2. Real Friends will always love you. I am lucky to have a core group of friends who just 'get' me. If I say 'no' to whatever they asked me, they are understanding. True friends are people who will stick by you through thick and thin, whether or not you asked them too.
3. Communication is key. Whether you like it or not, every relationship you will make in your life, communication is key. Family, friends, peers, or partners, you will always need to have an open line of communication for the relationship to work. That doesn't mean you need to talk to them 24/7; it means you will be there for them when you are needed - and vice versa.
4. Things don't always work out, but you will be fine. Whether you spent months day in and day out working on something important to you, the results sometimes cannot be mirrored to your efforts. When this happens, you feel devastated - and that's okay. It's okay to be sad about it, because you knew how hard you worked; even though the results don't show it. But once most of the emotions are blown off, you realised you are fine, and you can start all over again or work on something new. This ties in with doing things at your own pace.
5. Sometimes life doesn't want you to follow the crowd. I learnt this a few years back - don't aim for yourself to be an average, aim to be above it. Don't normalise yourself to fit in. This can be in terms of appearance, jobs, future ambitions, ideas etc. It's completely understandable that you want to fit the 'norm'; but as cliché as it is, be yourself, because there is only one of you.
6. It's okay to wear or not to wear your heart on your sleeves. People are judged for being in too many relationships or none at all. It's completely up to you how you want to live your life, as long as it makes you happy. However, if you always keep your cards close to your chest, you might miss a beautiful experience. But, if that makes you happy, it makes you happy.
7. If you receive the right kind of love, it's fulfilling at the start, middle, and end. Not every relationship will end well; but if you were loved, respected, adored, and an equal, then you will always respect your significant other (at the time, now your ex) for all the memories you shared, even though it had to come to an end.
8. Don't give into peer pressure. You do what you gotta do to make you happy. Not everyone in life will be looking out for you. If other people keep on pestering you to do something you don't want to do, they don't respect what you have to say.
9. If it hurts when it ends, you know you loved or still loving them. I personally always think when a breakup happens, we forget about the love and remember the pain. It's completely natural. However, once you overcome that, you will remember the time you spent together fondly. You will realise how lucky you were to experience the memories and feelings that you did.
10. Believe that there is more than one soulmate for you. A soulmate doesn't necessary mean a partner, it can be a friend who will always be there for you. A soulmate is someone who you can see all your cards. They understand you on a deeper level, and they see through the amour/exterior you show the world. They stick with you through the good, bad and ugly.
11. If you don't ask, you won't receive. This doesn't mean you will get everything you asked for all the time, but at least you can start a conversation about it and see where it leads.
12. Some relationships can frizzles out whether you like it or not - and that's okay. Not everyone you will meet, bond, or have a relationship with, will stay in your life. It's the ugly truth. Even if you made the effort, if the roles in the relationship is not equal, then eventually the relationship will be strained - then usually broken (but not always). Sometimes people will leave you due to unfortunate circumstances, and you will just to accept that's life. It's only up to you how you deal with the aftermath.
13. Spend time with yourself. You need to learn how to stand on your own two feet without anyone supporting you. Not everyone can drop what they are doing and be there for you.
14. You can be alone, without feeling lonely. This ties in with learning how to spend time with yourself. You can sometimes find yourself in a situation where there is a ton of people in the room, but you feel lonely. So, why do people sometimes think that being alone will make you feel lonely. It doesn't - if you know how to enjoy your own company. And you yourself should be your best friend, because you can guarantee you will always be there for you - whether you like it or not. So learn to love yourself, so you can spend time by yourself.
15. Start saving money where you can! I don't know about most people, but I enjoy financing my money - even though it doesn't always go to plan. Learning where your money goes is important, because it can save you a ton of trouble. It only takes one or two mistakes to go from alright to baaaaaaaaad real quick.
16. You can be selfish. My definition of being selfish is - you are the only one that can safely look out for what is best for you. Being selfish doesn't mean wanting what you want, and getting it. It's knowing the difference of wanting and needing something. Be selfish in moderation as it will help you with your mental health.
17. There is always at least one person out there that loves you. Sometimes the world feels like its ganging up on you, and you can actually feel lonely at times. However, there will always be someone looking out for you. There will always be someone who cares for you - you might just not know it.
18. There is always someone out there that has it worse or better. So, always count your blessing. Sometimes your situation can just look awful, like it just never going to end. Yes, there will always be someone who has it better, but we tend to forget that there is someone who has it worse than us. Be thankful that you can walk, or talk, or have a family etc! Don't take the things you have for granted.
19. Everything in moderation. I usually hear this when it comes to food, but this can be applied with everything you experience in life. For example: if you spend time with someone 24/7, sometimes it's nice to just have some time for yourself. This is so you can grow as an individual, and possibly make the heart grow fonder. Have everything in moderation, so you are physically and mentally well.
20. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you dislike about yourself, someone else doesn't see it how you see it. This doesn't mean everyone will view you positively, but it also doesn't mean they view you negatively as well. Beauty is subjective. What you considered beauty, is not the same as the person next to you. Don't judge yourself too harshly as we are our own worst critique. There will always be someone out there who sees our beauty, even if we can't see it ourselves...
So, that is it! The top 20 advice I had to taught myself! If I am totally honest, it was super easy to type 20 things I have to say. However, I kept changing my 'best' advice as there are so many! However, I ended choosing things that I personally would have like to know going through my teens years. As the title of this post explains, even though I have gone through these experiences, I am still learning, processing, and strengthening these advice within myself. Everyday is a new chance to grow; so my last little extra advice I am giving you before I go - know that you are a better version of yourself today, then yesterday...
I'll see you next week,
Bye ♥
So, that is it! The top 20 advice I had to taught myself! If I am totally honest, it was super easy to type 20 things I have to say. However, I kept changing my 'best' advice as there are so many! However, I ended choosing things that I personally would have like to know going through my teens years. As the title of this post explains, even though I have gone through these experiences, I am still learning, processing, and strengthening these advice within myself. Everyday is a new chance to grow; so my last little extra advice I am giving you before I go - know that you are a better version of yourself today, then yesterday...
I'll see you next week,
Bye ♥